Heathcliff Eugene Jiggles (a.k.a. "The Boss") was born in 1905 to Bruce and Hester Jiggles. Legend has it that after gestating for six and a half years, Hester looked on bewildered as Boss immerged from her womb wearing a three-button cashmere Evan Picone suit and promptly demanded that it be dry-cleaned. Boss joined the U.S. Naval Academy in 1925 but was quickly discharged on suspicion that he was trying to acquire Alaska from The Soviet Union in exchange for a "grounded space craft." He founded the OFSP (Office For Sanitized Polemics) in 1933, and garnered much praise for his six-hundred page dissertation on the meaning of "by and large." He was recognized by the business community at large in 1939 for his invention of the "clear plastic tube-like thingies" on the ends of shoelaces that keep them from getting frayed, and he quickly moved on to found Boss, Inc., one of the largest corporations in the universe, and Boss is widely considered the most important person to exist ever. Some of Boss's dislikes include: the sound of two Styrofoam objects being rubbed together, people who SCROUNGE for a certain color in a BAG of M&M's, and Don Rickles.